Growing distant? Prince Harry‘s relationship with sister-in-law Princess Kate wasn’t always so rocky, as he describes in his memoir, Spare.
The Duke of Sussex, 38, got candid about his life as a member of the British royal family — and what changed after he stepped down from his senior royal duties — in his bombshell book, which hits shelves on Tuesday, January 10. While looking back on his highs and lows, he recalled meeting Kate, now 40, in the early days of her romance with Prince William.
“I liked his new girlfriend. She was carefree, sweet [and] kind. She’d done a gap year in Florence, knew about photography, art. And clothes. She loved clothes,” the BetterUp CIO wrote. “Her name was Kate. … I liked seeing Kate laugh. Better yet, I liked making her laugh. And I was quite good at it.”
Harry and the newly named Princess of Wales initially got along swimmingly. When news broke in late 2010 that William, now 40, had proposed to Kate, Harry gushed to the press that he was “absolutely delighted” for the couple.
“I’ve always wanted a sister and now I’ve got one,” the younger prince noted at the time. “I’ve known Kate for years, and it’s fantastic that she is becoming part of the family.”
It wasn’t long, however, before Harry’s feelings grew more bittersweet. When William and Kate exchanged vows in April 2011, Harry said he thought he was losing his brother.
“I recall Willy walking her back up the aisle, and as they disappeared through the door, into the carriage that would convey them to Buckingham Palace, into the eternal partnership they’d pledged, I recall thinking: ‘Goodbye,’” he wrote in Spare. “I loved my new sister-in-law, I felt she was more sister than in-law, the sister I’d never had and always wanted, and I was pleased that she’d forever be standing by Willy’s side. She was a good match for my older brother.”
He continued: “They made each other visibly happy, and therefore I was happy too. But in my gut couldn’t help feeling that this was yet another farewell under this horrid roof. Another sundering. The brother I’d escorted into Westminster Abbey that morning was gone — forever.”
Once Meghan Markle came into the picture, the dynamic between Harry and Kate shifted further. Briefly dubbed the “Fab Four,” the couples often made joint appearances together over the years. However, Harry and Meghan’s 2020 royal exit drove a wedge between the duos.
The foursome reunited for Queen Elizabeth II’s funeral in September 2022, three months before Harry and Meghan detailed their departure from the royal family in Netflix’s Harry & Meghan docuseries. While no senior royals publicly commented on the episodes, a source exclusively told Us Weekly that Kate wasn’t pleased with the revelations.
“Kate feels hurt and betrayed that Harry would do this to her too, especially as the pair used to be so close,” the insider noted in December 2022.
Scroll down for the biggest Spare bombshells about Harry’s relationship with Kate:
Growing distant? Prince Harry‘s relationship with sister-in-law Princess Kate wasn’t always so rocky, as he describes in his memoir, Spare.
The Duke of Sussex, 38, got candid about his life as a member of the British royal family — and what changed after he stepped down from his senior royal duties — in his bombshell book, which hits shelves on Tuesday, January 10. While looking back on his highs and lows, he recalled meeting Kate, now 40, in the early days of her romance with Prince William.
“I liked his new girlfriend. She was carefree, sweet [and] kind. She’d done a gap year in Florence, knew about photography, art. And clothes. She loved clothes,” the BetterUp CIO wrote. “Her name was Kate. … I liked seeing Kate laugh. Better yet, I liked making her laugh. And I was quite good at it.”
Harry and the newly named Princess of Wales initially got along swimmingly. When news broke in late 2010 that William, now 40, had proposed to Kate, Harry gushed to the press that he was “absolutely delighted” for the couple.
[jwplayer rd8YItd5-zhNYySv2]“I’ve always wanted a sister and now I’ve got one,” the younger prince noted at the time. “I’ve known Kate for years, and it’s fantastic that she is becoming part of the family.”
It wasn’t long, however, before Harry’s feelings grew more bittersweet. When William and Kate exchanged vows in April 2011, Harry said he thought he was losing his brother.
“I recall Willy walking her back up the aisle, and as they disappeared through the door, into the carriage that would convey them to Buckingham Palace, into the eternal partnership they’d pledged, I recall thinking: ‘Goodbye,'” he wrote in Spare. “I loved my new sister-in-law, I felt she was more sister than in-law, the sister I’d never had and always wanted, and I was pleased that she’d forever be standing by Willy’s side. She was a good match for my older brother.”
He continued: “They made each other visibly happy, and therefore I was happy too. But in my gut couldn’t help feeling that this was yet another farewell under this horrid roof. Another sundering. The brother I’d escorted into Westminster Abbey that morning was gone — forever.”
Once Meghan Markle came into the picture, the dynamic between Harry and Kate shifted further. Briefly dubbed the “Fab Four,” the couples often made joint appearances together over the years. However, Harry and Meghan’s 2020 royal exit drove a wedge between the duos.
The foursome reunited for Queen Elizabeth II’s funeral in September 2022, three months before Harry and Meghan detailed their departure from the royal family in Netflix’s Harry & Meghan docuseries. While no senior royals publicly commented on the episodes, a source exclusively told Us Weekly that Kate wasn’t pleased with the revelations.
“Kate feels hurt and betrayed that Harry would do this to her too, especially as the pair used to be so close,” the insider noted in December 2022.
Scroll down for the biggest Spare bombshells about Harry’s relationship with Kate:
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His 1st Impressions of Kate
Harry described his brother’s then-girlfriend as being “carefree, sweet [and] kind,” admiring her interest in photography, travel and art. The younger prince also “liked making Kate laugh” and hoped he would do so when they met for the infamous 2005 costume party to which he wore a Nazi officer outfit.
“My transparently silly side connected with her heavily disguised silly side,” he wrote of his now-sister-in-law. “Whenever I worried that Kate was going to be the one to take Willy from me, I consoled myself with thoughts of all our future laughing fits together, and I told myself how great everything would be when I had a serious girlfriend who could laugh along with us.”
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The Nazi Costume Debacle
The duke shed more light on what led him to dress as a Nazi soldier, an incident he called “one of the biggest mistakes of my life” in Netflix’s Harry & Meghan. In Spare, Harry alleged that William and Kate — who also attended the 2005 party — encouraged the offensive costume.
“I went up and down the rows, sifting through the racks, seeing nothing I liked. With time running out I narrowed my options to two. A British pilot’s uniform. And a sand-colored Nazi uniform. With a swastika armband. And a flat cap,” he wrote. “I phoned Willy and Kate, asked what they thought. Nazi uniform, they said. I rented it, plus a silly mustache, and went back to the house. I tried it all on. They both howled.”
According to Harry, the Cambridge couple told him that the outfit was “way more ridiculous” than William’s lion costume — but reminded him that was “the point” of the themed bash.
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Harry Fears Losing William to His Wife
When William and Kate tied the knot in April 2011, Harry was supportive — but also felt like he was bidding “yet another farewell” to a loved one.
“The brother I’d escorted into Westminster Abbey that morning was gone — forever. Who could deny it?” he wrote. “He’d never again be first a foremost Willy. We’d never again ride together across the Lesotho countryside with capes blowing behind us. We’d never again share a horsey-smelling cottage while learning to fly. Who shall separate us? Life, that’s who.”
Harry served as his older sibling’s best man and confessed that the “ceremony is mostly a blank in [his] mind.” However, he remembered Kate looking “incredible” in her wedding gown. Despite his personal saddness, the military vet was happy for William.
“I loved my new sister-in-law,” he recalled. “I felt she was more sister than in-law, the sister I’d never had and always wanted, and I was pleased that she’d forever be standing by Willy’s side. She was a good match for my older brother. They made each other visibly happy, and therefore I was happy too.”
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Kate Was a ‘Religious’ Fan of ‘Suits’
After Harry began dating Meghan in 2016, he was hesitant to share the relationship with his inner circle. William and Kate, however, could tell “something was going on” when they invited him over to dinner one night.
“I casually mentioned that there was … a new woman in my life. They surged forward. ‘Who is she?'” he wrote, adding that he implored them both “to keep it a secret” before giving more details. “She’s an actress. ‘Oh?’ She’s American. ‘Oh.’ On a show called Suits. Their mouths fell open. They turned to each other. Then Willy turned to me and said: ‘F–k off?'”
Harry was “baffled” by his brother’s response “until Willy and Kate explained that they were regular — nay, religious — viewers” of the legal drama. “All this time I’d thought Willy and Kate might not welcome Meg into the family, but now I had to worry about them hounding her for an autograph,” he teased, recalling that the couple “barraged” him with questions about his then-girlfriend.
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Kate and Meghan Were ‘Forced to Compete’
Harry confessed that it had “long been [his] dream” to be a foursome with William, Kate and his partner, who happened to be Meghan. However, the reality of the situation posed a few challenges.
Shortly after one of their first public outings as the “Fab Four,” they became the subject of “controversy.” He wrote: “Something about Meg showing support for #MeToo, and Kate not showing support — via their outfits? I think that was the gist, though who can say? It wasn’t real.”
The Travalyst founder later wondered whether negative stories about Meghan in the U.K. press impacted how Kate felt about her. “I think it had Kate on edge while putting her and everyone else on notice that she was now going to be compared to, and forced to compete with, Meg,” he claimed.
Another “awkward moment” reinforced his opinion as Harry recalled an instance where Meghan asked to borrow lip gloss from her fellow duchess. “Kate, taken aback, went into her handbag and reluctantly pulled out a small tube,” he wrote. “Meg squeezed some onto her finger and applied it to her lips. Kate grimaced.”
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The Bridesmaids Dress Drama
Days before the couple’s May 2018 wedding, Kate texted Meghan about the dress Charlotte would wear as a bridesmaid. The former lifestyle blogger was distracted by drama involving her father — he was caught staging paparazzi photos and ultimately did not attend the ceremony — but Kate wanted to settle the apparent issue regardless.
“Meg asked if Kate was aware of what was going on right now. With her father,” Harry recalled. “Kate said she was well aware, but the dresses. ‘And the wedding is in four days!'”
The “back and forth” continued as Meghan reminded Kate that there was a tailor on hand. Kate finally agreed to bring her daughter to the expert — but the confrontation left Meghan feeling shaken.
“A short time later I arrived home and found Meg on the floor. Sobbing,” her husband wrote, emphasizing that he didn’t think Kate meant any “harm” with the conversation. “I was horrified to see [Meghan] so upset, but I didn’t think it was a catastrophe. … Indeed the next morning Kate came by with flowers and a card that said she was sorry.”
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Kate Had ‘Problems’ With Sussex Wedding Plans
Charlotte’s dress apparently wasn’t the only thing bothering Kate about the 2018 ceremony. “[She] had other problems with the way Meg was planning her wedding. Something about a party for the page boys? The page boys? Half the kids in the wedding are from North America. They haven’t even arrived yet,” Harry wrote, admitting that “emotions were running high” in the days leading up to the wedding. “It was intolerable — but temporary.”
At the time, after Kate sent her apology flowers, Harry chalked up the mess to a “simple misunderstanding.”
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Fab Four’s Heated Argument After Wedding
One month after the Sussexes tied the knot, William and Kate invited them over for tea “to clear the air” about any potential drama. The conversation began with “classic small talk” — but ended with “shouting,” Harry claimed.
While William and Kate “were apparently upset” about not receiving Easter gifts from the other pair — Harry alleged that was “never” a tradition for the royal family — the Archewell cofounders aired a few grievances of their own.
“For our part, we chipped in that we weren’t too pleased when Willy and Kate switched place cards and changed seats at our wedding,” he wrote. “We’d followed the American tradition, placing couples next to each other, but Willy and Kate didn’t like that tradition, so their table was the only one where spouses were apart. They insisted it wasn’t them, it was someone else. And they said we’d done the same thing at Pippa [Middleton]’s wedding. We hadn’t. Much as we’d wanted to.”
The conversation took another turn when Kate brought up a comment from Meghan about her “baby brain” before the wedding. (The former welcomed son Louis in April 2018, and Meghan made a playful remark about her hormones at the time.)
“‘I’m sorry I talked about your hormones. That’s just how I talk with my girlfriends,'” Meghan told Kate, according to Harry. “Willy pointed at Meg. ‘It’s rude, Meghan. It’s not what’s done here in Britain.'”
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How Kate Reacted to Meghan’s Pregnancy
The former pilot remembered having a side conversation with William at St George’s Hall while celebrating their cousin Princess Eugenie’s wedding in fall 2018. At the time, Harry and his wife had just learned they were expecting their first child.
“Willy smiled and said we must tell Kate. She was across the room … but he insisted,” Harry wrote. “So we went and told Kate and she also gave a big smile and a hearty congratulations. They both reacted exactly as I’d hoped — as I’d wished.”