“I was asked to send a speech therapist a video of me singing something quietly, so she could hear my voice,” the 33-year-old musician wrote via Instagram on Friday, June 18, noting why she was singing so low in the clip. “The first song I sang was ‘I Want Love.’ Just hearing myself sing it and feel so vulnerable whilst singing bought me to tears.”
The British singer, who also shared a close-up video of herself crying while singing, revealed that she has “never ever” been able to perform the song since its initial recording because of “the pain I am experiencing” in her throat. She did, however, sing “I Want Love” for its music video, which dropped on Thursday, June 17.
“Man, it’s been hard not singing. It’s literally my lifeline and my happiness,” she continued. “Being quiet is not something I’m good at. Or makes me feel like myself. Lord knows I’m loud af.”
While recording the soundbite for her therapist, Jessie J realized that she needed to “be honest” with herself and her fans regarding her ongoing health issues.
“To be totally real, to have your support and love would help me get through this faster I’m sure,” the “Domino” singer added. “I’ve always been honest however hard it feels. It’s important to be strong enough to be weak. Especially on a platform like this.”
The “Price Tag” singer went on to explain via her Instagram Stories that she began experiencing symptoms, including a “burn” in her throat in February. When she finally saw a doctor, she was informed that she had “major acid reflux and nodules.”
The nodules formed because she continued to sing with the acid reflux, which was most likely caused by the steroids she was prescribed last year for a different health problem. Jessie J previously told fans in December 2020 that she was diagnosed with Meniere’s disease, which is an inner ear disorder that can result in hearing loss and cause vertigo.
Since her February acid reflux diagnosis, the “Bang Bang” musician has tried a variety of treatments to remedy the nodules on her throat, including two weeks of no talking, acupuncture and different medications.
She noted on Friday that she’s been to six different doctors and is “still in the same pain every day.” While the nodules have “melted away like Olaf in the sun,” Jessie J revealed that “every doctor” has reminded her that if she starts singing again the nodules will return.
The “Do It Like a Dude” singer explained that despite her pain, she chose to record and finish her upcoming album so fans could hear new music this summer. She noted that she hasn’t done any promotional interviews thus far as a result of the strain the two-day video shoot for her new material put on her throat.
“I am positive I will find the reason to all of this soon. The truth is, I say it on stage all the time. My biggest lesson my whole life has been my health,” she wrote on Friday. “And I’m in it. Living it. This is my real life and I know I’m being faced with this because I can handle it.”