“I definitely don’t think our marriage would have sustained it [long-term] regardless of the show,” Alexis, 44, exclusively told Us Weekly on Thursday, June 3. “I don’t think Housewives was the reason because I had already been having feelings before Housewives that I was fighting back. I was, like, I can’t, you know, we got to work this out.”
P&P / MEGA; Shutterstock
The Missouri native, who was on the Bravo series for four seasons before exiting in 2013, noted that the former spouses had issues for years outside of the show.
“We were married 14 years and then [in] therapy the whole 14 years. So that tells you something,” she explained. “And I haven’t been to one therapy session with [my fiancé] Andy [Bohn]. We haven’t had but two fights. We just were just meant to be together.”
Alexis’ rocky relationship with Jim played out onscreen before the pair split in 2018. The former reality star compared her dynamic with Jim to “oil and water” unlike her new relationship with Bohn, whom she describes as a “best friend” and partner.
“If [Andy and I] don’t see eye to eye, we don’t need to go to the counselor and figure it out. We just sit down and have a discussion,” she said. “Neither of us yell. Neither of us boss the other one around. We just simply talk it through. So, I don’t think that Jim and I would have made it, even if Housewives hadn’t have come about. It would have been me wanting to open my coffee shop that I’ve had a dream for, or like, you know, there’s just other things that I would have probably wanted to do that. It would’ve caused a little bit of a ruckus.”
The former Bravo star, who shares 15-year-old son James and 13-year-old twins Melania and Mackenna with her ex, noted that she’s “done a lot of soul searching” over the years and realized that she outgrew her relationship with Jim.
“When Jim and I met, we were exactly in alignment on the Leave it to Beaver kind of family. I wanted to be at home. He wanted me to quit my career. So, I did,” Alexis told Us. “But then when Housewives came about and the kids were getting a little bit older, I wanted something for myself again. I wanted a career again.”
The Marriage Boot Camp alum compared the former couple’s dynamic to that of Real Housewives of New Jersey’s Melissa and Joe Gorga, whose rocky romance has been a topic of conversation during season 11 as they’ve switched roles.
“Once you’ve kind of took that agreement that, ‘OK, well, I’ll be the breadwinner. You stay home and take care of the kids.’ And then, I guess, basically if you don’t grow together in that path that’s when the hiccups really come into play,” Alexis said. “If the husband and wife don’t grow together and they stay stagnant in that one firm belief — like if someone suddenly gets enlightened and wants to change their faith — do you divorce and say, ‘Forget it,’ even though you might have [the] best friendship. Or, do you try to figure out, ‘OK, well, we don’t have to see eye to eye on that though’ [and stay together].”
Three years after going their separate ways, Alexis admitted that she and Jim are on good terms, especially when it comes to their kids.
“We still have our ups and downs, but we do have one thing that we are a 100 percent [agree] about and that’s how much we love our kids,” she told Us. “It’s definitely a work in progress, but we just try to respect each other and put our kids first.”
With reporting by Christina Garibaldi