SEX life died a death since the pandemic?
Sun sexpert Georgette Culley shares tips to bring the spark back…even if you’ve been together 20 years.
Lost your libido in lockdown? Relaunch it with a bangCredit: Getty
Sex drought in numbers
of us haven’t had sex since the pandemic started
rise in Google searches for last-minute hotels
FALLEN into the comfort zone of just lounging around in your dressing gown and watching endless boxsets together?
Throw off your granny garb and turn up the heat. Your partner is your lover, not your roommate. Turn off the TV and turn each other on with these simple tips.
Hotels are open again – so book a roomCredit: Getty
BOOK A WEEKEND AWAY: Now hotels are open again, there’s no excuse not to book a naughty weekend away to reignite that passion.
Google searches for “last-minute hotels” are up 100 per cent, signalling Brits are trying to get their sex lives back on track by playing away – with their partners.
EXPERIMENT WITH SEXY ROLE PLAY: It’s no wonder the desire is dead when the pandemic has forced you to spend 24/7 together.
Rebuild that sexual tension by spending the day apart, then at night meet up in a bar and pretend to be strangers.
Research shows seeing how attractive your other half is to the opposite sex can remind you of what first attracted you to them.
Chat each other up at the bar and enjoy a few flirty, fun drinks before heading home for a dirty “one-night stand”.
GIVE AND TAKE: It’s great to want to please your partner in the bedroom but don’t get so caught up in the physical mechanics that sex becomes a chore and no longer a pleasure.
Your orgasms matter, too, so if you don’t like something speak up.
LOCKDOWN has been hard on every-one but especially singletons, with the sex ban for people from different households. So you may need help getting back out there . . .
Here’s help for getting back out there after lockdownCredit: Getty
VIDEO DATE: New video-dating app Snack is set to be the biggest trend of 2021 – think TikTok meets Tinder.
You can capture someone’s attention by showing interest in them or sharing something personal about yourself.
The best part of video-first dating is that you can see what people really look like, as opposed to the Kardashian-era filtered content on Instagram.
FIND YOURSELF: Have you forgotten what turns you on and what you want from a relationship? Rediscover yourself by joining online workshop The Pleasure Panel tomorrow. It’s hosted by dating agency Tailor Matched and is dedicated to singletons relearning to date post-pandemic. Tickets start at £15. Book through adult social network website Killing Kittens.
SET ME-TIME: Try not to feel pressured to get straight back out there. Take your time and don’t rush into anything.
It’s Masturbation May – yes, that really is a thing – so find time to indulge in self-love. Knowing how you like to be touched and what you want in bed will be good when you find someone special to share this with.
So close the door and turn up the heat with a naughty film or book. Check out Erika Lust’s film 360 Of Lust to help you come out of lockdown, as it were.
BEING a new parent is stressful enough, let alone during a pandemic.
So it’s no surprise research shows that mums and dads are struggling both in and out of the bedroom.
Try and set some time aside during the week to concentrate on just the two of you.
Being a new parent is stressful enough, more so in a pandemicCredit: Shutterstock
LEARN TO FLIRT AGAIN: It’s easy to lose playfulness in your relationship when you’ve been together a while, and especially when you become new parents and caring for a baby becomes the priority.
Compliment your partner and find moments to touch them to build intimacy – whether it’s gently rubbing their inner thigh while watching telly or playing footsie under the table at dinner.
SPEAK INTIMATELY: Try not to overuse expressions like “I love you”, and replace them with words which form a more personal connection instead.
Try: “I missed you at work today.” This way you’re inviting your partner to speak intimately to you back which may even lead to some spontaneous action in the living room.
GO AWAY ON A SEXCATION: Treat yourself to a weekend of naughty indulgence without the children. Check out Mama Shelter London which has launched a “sexcation package”.
Close the door on your worries, the world and the kids’ homework and enjoy bubbles in bed and a “Sexy Mamma” box packed with adult toys and films. Two nights starts from £198.
IT’S perfectly normal to have sexual desires during your later years, even if the body is not quite as willing as the mind.
Don’t be afraid to try new things to discover what you want in bed.
In later years the body is not quite as willing as the mindCredit: Getty – Contributor
TANTRIC SEX: If you are not quite ready for full-blown sex then build intimacy by just lying naked together. Lightly stroke your part-ner’s body but don’t pressurise each other to go any further.
Want more help? Check out sexpert Stella Ralfini’s tantric love workshops – the 73-year-old has helped thousands of couples rekindle their passion.
TRY VIAGRA: If you’re struggling to get that rocket into orbit you may just need a bit of help. Sales of Viagra have boomed during lockdown and not just among the older generation – it’s nothing to be embarrassed about.
You can pick it up over the counter for as little as 85 pence per tablet.
Or if you prefer to go au-naturel try some herbal remedies, like horny goat weed.
TAKE IT EASY: As we age, we are more likely to have heart problems, arthritis and other physical ailments so it would be advisable to check in with your doctor before you attempt strenuous sex sessions.
Opt for those positions which apply less pressure on to your joints.
Most sex injuries come from slippery bathroom antics, so avoid shower sex.
DID the pandemic stop your new romance in its tracks? Perhaps you met someone special but didn’t get the chance to spend time together.
Fear not, now is the time to try again.
Get your flirt back on track after the pandemicCredit: Getty
INVESTIGATE: First of all, do some fishing to find out if the other person is still single. Channel your inner detective and investigate their social media accounts.
If the coast is clear, send a casual message like: “Hey stranger, long time no speak. Fancy a drink? You bring the face mask, I’ll bring the hand sanitiser.”
What could be sexier?
FIND A COMMON INTEREST: Feeling too nervous to ask them out directly? Find an excuse. If they’re part of your mutual friends group then arrange a BBQ. If you met them at the gym, ask them to help show you a new exercise you’ve been struggling with. And if you met through an app and don’t have any mutual friends, remember their favourite band or show, and casually message them and say you have a spare ticket.
DON’T FEAR REJECTION: Fortune favours the brave and that applies to finding love too. Being proactive is key to getting what you want and confidence is a huge turn-on.
Research shows people with high self-esteem are attractive to potential partners. So put yourself out there. Chances are, they’ve been dying to hear from you and will be glad you reached out first.
SUN sexpert Georgie, 34, lives with partner Ben, 31, who is also a journalist, and their 18-month-old son Jude, in Bristol. She says:
Sun sexpert Georgette Culley recommends a sexcationCredit: Olivia West Commissioned by the Sun
“Like most new parents, I struggled to keep the fire in our relationship after becoming a new mum in the pandemic.
“While becoming a parent is the best thing, it has put a dampener on sex. We went from five times a week to zero.
“When the nursery closed due to Covid, it was hard enough juggling a baby and working from home, let alone thinking about sex. And we’re not the only ones. Nearly half the population say their sex life got worse after kids. Finding time for intimate moments like kissing and hugging becomes rare, especially when Jude is sleeping badly. Spontaneous sessions become almost impossible and any spare time we get we’d rather sleep.
“Now we are trying to get things back on track and have booked a two-day sexcation at the Mama Shelter adult boutique hotel in London.
“It can be hard feeling sexy when you’re surrounded by nappies and toys and in maternity underwear. But I’m hoping a naughty weekend will reignite our spark.
“It will be an opportunity to dig out my sexiest undies for the trip – if I can find them underneath all the teddies.”