How I Do It: ‘I’m in a polyamorous throuple – a week in my sex life’

‘We have a giant super-king size bed that we have turned sideways to sleep in’ (Picture: Myles Goode)

For this week’s How I Do It, for which strangers share what a week in their sex life looks like, we’ve been given a seven-day glimpse into the world of 27-year-old Danny*.

Danny is a student and stay-at-home parent to a toddler they share with their husband. Danny’s trans-masculine, non-binary and has been married since 2018, with the couple forming a non-sexual closed triad with a third person they’ve been dating for close to three years.

That third person is non-sexual, however the throuple still enjoy engaging in various types of kink together, either as a threesome or just Danny and their husband – both of whom do engage in penetrative sex when their partner’s not around.

The throuple sleep together cuddled up most nights in a huge king-sized bed, and Danny says one of the things they’re happy about in their sex life is ‘the closeness’ they share together when they’re just lying in bed.

They’re also happy with the amount of kink they engage in. As a threesome, they enjoy wax play, bondage and impact play. As a couple with their husband, Danny also enjoys anal play, role-play and consensual non-consent.

Want to know what a week in their sex life looks like? Well, you’re about to…

Warning: As you’d expect, this week’s diary includes reference to kink and sexual acts. It’s NSFW.


Monday is a busy workday, so we do not really get chance to talk much.

Both husband and partner are in meetings most of the day and our child is at nursery, so I keep myself busy with work for my university module and other responsibilities.

We have a giant super-king size bed that we have turned sideways to sleep in, so we always get time to cuddle before bed no matter how busy the day has been. We use this time to share good things about our day and reconnect.

It’s nice after a stressful day to hold each other close and talk without our child running around or pushing their way into the middle of hugs.


A fairly standard morning of work for everyone while our child is at nursery. Once they are home, we put them down for a nap and have lunch.

I am not feeling great but end up having some nice afternoon sex while our child is napping, and partner is out on a run.

I spend most of the afternoon napping myself until our child wakes up, and then we go for a quick walk around the block – our newest lockdown ritual before dinner and bedtime.

It was nice to be able to spend time with my husband during the day and reconnect without him worrying about work or our partner being disrupted. They don’t mind, but we try to respect their boundaries while they’re in the house.


Again, quite busy work wise but my husband and I spend the day texting to turn each other on a bit while we are in the same room.

Nothing happens that evening, but it is a good build up to Thursdays when our partner is ‘sexiled’.

This is their choice and a nice way for us to still have time to ourselves as a couple and be able to sleep naked.

It’s nice being able to go back to a taste of the freedom we had before we met them, and before we had our child.


Partner will be sexiled this evening, so we tease each other when we pass in the hallway. Husband takes the opportunity to bite us both a bit as our partner likes to be bitten.

This evening I am tied down to the bed while my husband uses the mains powered wand and his mouth.

I cannot climax, which is unusual but expected since university is getting stressful, and I have only recently learnt how to come from my husband licking my pussy.

He ends up double penetrating me with the help of a strap-on.

He comes and then we fall asleep naked in bed and cuddling. I would like for this to happen more often, but I’m not sure my husband could keep up after a few days.


Normally, we would have slow wakeup sex the day after a sexiling, but we are too busy today. I have my weekly therapy and then take our child shopping for the first time in ages before we return home for a nap.

I’m a bit stressed as we’re trying collaring our partner for the first time in a few months tomorrow – this wasn’t intentional, we just got busy with work and looking after our child, but our partner had mentioned recently that they were missing it.

Collaring involves locking a metal collar round their neck with a locking pin so only we can remove it. They usually wear leather mitts, so they can’t use their hands and occasionally when we collar them they have their legs shackled and their hands handcuffed close together, so they have to crawl everywhere.

Collaring them can be quite stressful because they depend a lot on us and I don’t always have the energy to deal with them needing my full attention, but we’ve promised to try it and take it in turns to look after them if our child wakes up.

If we’re playing when our child wakes up, this can upset our partner, as it’s taking our attention away from them.

Luckily, our child usually sleeps through the night without issue, so it’s rarely a problem and when it is, our partner accepts that it is their emotion to deal with.


Saturdays are our kinky play days with our partner. While our child naps, we collar our partner.

When the collar clicks together and the pin slides into place, they flop happily on the bed, and we scratch their back, biting them until they are covered in bruises.

Despite this, they eventually admit that the collaring is not going how they expected, which makes them sad.

They point out it has been a long time since we collared them, so their brain probably built it up a lot in their head. We agree to try again in a few weeks and keep our usual collared treat of hand feeding them for dinner once our child is in bed.

Sometimes we do wax, bondage, impact play or needles on Saturdays, but these can take more energy and with the pandemic we have been avoiding breaking their skin.


Sundays are our lazy days. We start off most Sundays with scratches with our partner in the morning before we get up.

Once our child is napping in the afternoon, we talk more about the collaring yesterday and check on the bruises we gave our partner, taking photos of their back before taking our child on a two-hour-long walk around the countryside.

Husband spends part of the walk teasing me about places we could have sex outdoors on our route.

*Names have been changed

How I Do It

In’s How I Do It you get a sneak peek into a week of a person’s sex and love life – from vanilla love-making to fetishes, threesomes and polyamorous relationships, they reveal it all.

Fancy taking part yourself? Email [email protected] for more information.

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