The app has sparked controversy among daters (Picture: Tame)
Anyone on the dating scene right now knows it’s a hotbed of ghosting, benching, zombie-ing, and all sorts of bad behaviour.
We all want a less draining way to meet people, so apps are evolving to become fairer and more inclusive… but apparently these changes aren’t always welcome.
A new dating app, Tame, launched in 2022 to focus on ‘healthy human connection and safe use’ and help users sidestep the perils of modern love.
On Tame, you’re only allowed to match with one person at a time. When you’re in a conversation with someone, all other profiles are hidden from view, in an effort to ‘prevent users from stacking matches or talking while browsing other profiles.’
There’s also no swiping. You create a set of questions when setting up your profile, then anyone who wants to match with you must answer them, with the aim being to ‘prevent thoughtless swiping.’
If that didn’t seem different enough from the current options on the matchmaking scene, Tame will hide profiles that have been inactive for a week, thoroughly investigate all safety reports, and verify each profile using AI and humans.
Additionally, there’s a balanced gender ratio, meaning you might have to go onto a waiting list if there are too many men or women to keep things ‘give everyone a chance’.
Singles will have to pay for a subscription to the app, although thankfully this will be indefinitely extended for free if you don’t find a match during this period.
But the kicker is the app’s policy on ghosting. If a user had decided they no longer want to continue chatting to their match, they have to justify why they’re ending the conversation.
While a ghosting ban is a welcome feature for some, it hasn’t gone down particularly well online, with critics calling Tame ‘awful,’ the ‘worst idea ever,’ an ‘online prison,’ and ‘over the top’ on Twitter.
The brand has come under fire on Instagram, where one commenter said: ‘This sounds like a hostage situation, not gonna lie.’
Another wrote: ‘Demanding people to explain why they want to quit talking to someone they barely know a) reinforces the disturbing ideology that “no” isn’t a complete answer and needs justification and b) puts women in danger.’
If someone is creeping you out or it just isn’t clicking, it can be daunting to have to lay that out in black and white. Plus, is it still considered ghosting if you’ve not actually met yet?
In reply, the app said: ‘We are not demanding or forcing an explanation, space for it is designed but it is not compulsory. What is compulsory is to close the conversation you’re in if you want to browse new profiles.
‘People are no longer able to contact each other once the conversation is closed. If you have any suggestions on how we could rework our features to better protect women please feel free to let us know, we’re reactive and will work whatever is appropriate into the next updates.’
There were some people online who felt there was merit in a more serious way to date, and one Twitter user hailed it as a ‘great idea’ for narrowing down the endless choices singles face.
‘The only people upset with these features are those who are into ghosting, “playing the field”, or sending fake nudes,’ said another, while others defended Tame’s commitment to intentional dating.
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