What type of dater are you – and how will it affect your love life?

Don’t think you can make someone want a serious relationship if casual is their goal (Picture: Getty Images/iStockphoto)

We all have different intentions when we date, and figuring out whether someone is on the same wavelength isn’t straightforward.

From the person ready for a relationship to the commitment-phobe, there are lots of ‘types’ to sift through to find someone who matches your mindset.

And sometimes, we find someone on our wavelength but they just aren’t ready yet.

As May 17th will see it become legal again to spend the night at someone else’s home, dating and casual sex is about to gain a new lease of life.

According to Hinge, there are four main types of single people out in the dating world to spot.

  • DTC (Down to Commit) Dater: 34% of users want a relationship and are ready.
  • Hopeful Hesitator: 41% want a relationship, but feel nervous about dating.
  • The Roaring 20’s Dater: 14% want something casual and want to go all out.
  • CDC (Cautious and Dating Casually) Dater: 10% want something casual, but feel nervous about dating.

Do any of these resonate, be it for yourself or the person you’re crushing on?

Hinge’s director of relationship science, Logan Ury, shares her tips with Metro.co.uk on what to do if you fall into one of these types – and how to approach someone you think fits in too.

The commitment seeker

Lockdown would have been a real annoyance for this person, who is ready to get out there and find someone ready for the long haul.

Chances are this person will be dating a lot over the summer – until someone peaks their interest.

Hinge predicts many users in this category will see dating a priority over their career, friends and family to make up for lost time.

If this is you

Logan says: ‘You’ve decided dating is your top priority right now, and you’re ready to find your person. Congrats! That is a great first step. Now it’s time to show up for yourself.

‘Learn to look for red flags – someone who treats you as an option, not a priority; someone who isn’t ready for a relationship; someone who makes you question their interest.

‘Instead, go for the green flags – someone who’s a great communicator, honest about their intentions, and makes you feel your best.

‘Don’t rush. You may feel ready to find someone right now, but it’s still worth waiting for the right relationship.’

If this is who you encounter

Logan says always be clear about your intentions and don’t lead them on if you know a relationship isn’t for you right now.

The hopeful yet nervous dater

After such a long break from dating, some people are feeling ‘rusty’ and uneasy about getting back out there.

This person may have only realised they wanted a deep connection during the pandemic after some self-reflection, so are new to dating in this way.

They might also have fears around covid safety, so want to date cautiously.

If this is you

‘Dating is a skill. The only way to get better at dating is to actually date. You’re looking for love but you’re worried about getting back out there. Who isn’t? This is completely normal.

‘My advice for you is to make small steps towards progress. Try a video date. Go on a walk date in the park.

‘Realise that you have everything you need right now to start dating, and it’s all about finding ways to make yourself comfortable and confident,’ Logan says.

If this is who you encounter

The key is patience if you really like this person.

‘Everyone’s comfort level is different right now. If you are interested in someone who is showing signs of FODA (fear of dating again), be patient and don’t pressure them to do anything they’re not comfortable with.

‘Try to ease them back into dating by suggesting a video date first to get to know each other before meeting IRL,’ Logan suggests.

The thrill seeker  

They aren’t calling this the new Roaring 20s for nothing – some people simply want fun in the forms of flirtation and casual sex.

This person might have gone through a breakup during the pandemic and so isn’t looking for anything serious.

Whatever the circumstances, these daters feel confident about what they do and don’t want from romantic encounters.

If this is you

‘You’re just looking to have fun right now and that’s ok. Just be upfront with the people you meet about your intentions.

‘Some of them may want to focus on someone who’s looking for a relationship, but you’ll also find people who are on the same page as you. Be honest. You’ll save both of yourselves time and frustration,’ Logan tells us.

If this is who you encounter

Logan wisely warns you shouldn’t try to change someone.

‘You should establish expectations and ask them what they’re looking for from the start. If they tell you they just want something casual, believe them. Don’t try to change their mind.’

The unsure casual dater

These people want some kind of romantic life, but nothing too heavy.

Maybe they’re not over an ex or are about to move for a new job – either way, they’re hesitant about getting involved with someone.

They may also just simply lack confidence to go out and get what they want.

If this is you

‘Don’t feel like you have to rush into things. Instead of focusing on dating itself, set small incremental goals that will allow you to feel like you’re making progress.

‘Meet up with friends you haven’t seen in a while to dust off your social skills. Do activities that make you feel your best, and invest in yourself through self-care and becoming a better person,’ Logan advises.

If this is who you encounter

If you also want something lowkey, Logan says to allow your date to ‘take their time.

‘Boost their confidence by affirming them. Let them take things at their own pace.’

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